I warn you. If you don't want to read this, divert your eyes xD. The period. You know what I'm talking about. That monthly 'gift'? The period is just a big ass FUCK YOU from thee universe. Like one day, all the beings in the universe came together, took one look at Earth, hit on some chick, the chick turned the universe down, and then bang. The Universe: FUCK YOU. We'll never live it down ladies. Its like a roundhouse kick to your LIFE. You wake up one morning and think "I'm getting laid tonight :D". That night, you're putting your grove moves on some guy. And as you get ready to say: "Your place or mine?", you think 'Did I just piss myself?'. No. You didn't lose control of your bladder. You do NOT have vaginal cancer. You're on your period. And dear God, its a disappointment . Should have gotten the shot, they say. But the shot fucks you up for the first you. You never know when or if you're going to come on. Its like, you don't come on for the first month. Then next month, you're on for like 6 hours. Skip a few months. You're at your cousin's barmitsfa in a white, sleeveless dress, and everyone notices that you look like you're bleeding from the inside out. You are. And you will be for like two weeks straight. Why am I pissed? I was sitting in class today, in a group with the guy I've been crushing on for the past four years (He's a jock. That's surprising if you know me. Plays soccer. I cant help it, he's a tasty man ). When after one of my ever-popular dead baby jokes ), my tummy makes the loudest and most nauseating sound you've EVER heard. Everyone turns and looks at me. How do I explain it? Gas? Embarrassing. Illness? With the swine flu going about, no one will want to be near me (Don't go, Joey!). What do I say? "I'm hungry."

Tags: Period Nausea